To praise or not to praise:  a question that all parents and teachers are asking, or should be asking, themselves with all of the new research coming to light on the dangers of over praising our children. Not many years ago, experts told us to boost their self-esteem by continually telling them how wonderful, smart, and talented they were – even if we didn’t see the evidence for our words.

But now, the research of Dr. Carol S. Dweck and others has shown us the real dangers of praise without merit. Instead of boosting self-esteem, it seems to put our children in danger of a “fixed” mindset. They are afraid to try new things, take a challenging class, or even have the confidence that they will continue to do well on work that they have done well on in the past. With a fixed mindset, children tell themselves that they must “look” smart or proficient at all costs in order to maintain their image of their own abilities.

http://mindsetonline.com/whatisit/about/index.html

Instead, praise should be specific, deserved, and focus on the act rather than the person. We learned this lesson a long time ago with negative statements. Criticize the act, not the person. “You did a bad thing” not “you’re a bad person.” But the same holds true for praise.  “You created a beautiful peace of art” not “you’re a great artist.” The latter sets up the fixed mindset of having to constantly prove that you’re still a great artist, while the former praises the EFFORT that you made to create art.

Effort is perhaps the most important thing to remember. Praise a child’s effort, and you reinforce that effort is important. Think about the life skills that we all need to make our way successfully in this world: persist, put forth effort, get up and try again when things don’t go well. What we need is a “growth” mindset. This mindset tells us that we learn by doing and that by our efforts we can continue to improve and grow.

http://mindsetonline.com/whatisit/themindsets/index.html

http://www.brainology.us/webnav/whatismindset.aspx

Learn more about Dweck’s work and how her research applies to every student – even adults! https://www.stanford.edu/dept/psychology/cgi-bin/drupalm/cdweck

Go ahead – “grow” your own mind!